


Long Gone

by mindlessadri



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-06 16:50:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1865289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindlessadri/pseuds/mindlessadri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian goes AWOL after a few days of not taking his meds. Mickey spends the night looking for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Long Gone

**Author's Note:**

> I'd originally wanted to post this for 'gallavich week - taking care of each other' but I had just finished Shameless and didn't feel ready to participate. But I got something up my ass and decided to finish it. I see myself writing more for this fandom in the future so I just hope that my first piece is well received.  
> Also I wrote this pretty late at night and have terrible typos when not tired let alone when I am.  
> *edited for mistakes during the light of day*

Five hours in the freezing cold and Mickey had run out of cigarettes. He’d been searching for Ian since early in the morning and to be frank when Mickey finally found him he was either going to kiss him until his lips bruised or beat the shit out of him.

Ian was in a manic stage of his disorder. In some ways the manic stage was scarier than the depression. When Ian could hardly move Mickey didn’t have to worry about him getting up in the middle of the night to go ‘find himself’. The meds actually went down Ian’s throat instead of being dropped into his coffee and left to dissolve only to be poured out when he thought Mickey wasn’t watching. The depression was heart breaking; the mania was soul consuming.

Finding Ian was always a matter of repetition. Even when manic he had places he went to out of habit. He’d been to the liquor store a block north of boys town three times before he finally got a lead. The man behind the counter had called Mickey when he recognized Ian. Mickey didn’t like to ask for help but he wasn’t above it when it came down to finding Ian. The man explained he’d try to keep Ian in the store but that the redhead had pushed past him; bottle in one hand and “thank yous” rolling off his tongue.

Mickey swore, “Did he say where he was going?”

“No. He just made a left out the door.”

Mickey slammed his hand down on the counter, “What fucking good are you if you can’t even ask him where he’s going.” He turned to leave his fists clenched at his sides.

“What about my money?” Mickey stopped and turned to look at him. “You said if I called you I’d get a twenty.”

He took a twenty out of his pocket and threw it at the clerks chest. “Next time ask him where he’s going. If you don’t I won’t bother paying you for information. I‘ll just beat it out of you.”

Mickey left then and went for his pack of cancer before remembering he was out. He threw his lighter across the ground in frustration. If Ian had picked up an entire bottle it meant he was probably pregaming in anticipation of going to an expensive club he wouldn’t be able to afford shit at. Not that he couldn’t get other men to buy for him. Mickey stalked off to the heart of boys town.

 

When Mickey found Ian it was in the middle of some fucking night club he’d never been to. Ian was pressed against some big black dude grinding on his leg and sweat dripping down his face. He was smiling blankly up at the lights and Mickey knew the look; he was rolling.

Mickey went right for him and tugged him off the guy he was dancing with. “Mick!” Ian yelled with a big smile across his face.

“What the fuck Ian,” Mickey pushed out through clenched teeth.

The smile started to drop away from Ian’s face. “I didn’t want to wake you up last night. I just - I had to go for a run and then I ran into some friends and -”

“You fucking disappeared!”

Ian put his hands out in front of himself like he was trying to calm a dog. “No. No, Mick, I would never - I just -”

Mickey rubbed his eyes, “You just what Gallagher? Thought to yourself ‘Aw fuck it I’m going to go off the grid’ because that just what you did.”

It was at that time that the man Ian had been dancing with pushed Mickey away by the chest, “You got a fucking problem?”

Mickey threw the hand away from himself. “The only fucking problem I have is that you think you can touch me like you have an open fucking invitation. Now unless you want me punch your fucking teeth out you better move on.” He punctuated his point with three jabs to the chest.

The man gave Ian a once over, “Ain’t no piece of ass worth this bullshit. That’ll be a twenty.” He directed his statement to Mickey.

“For what?”

The man chuckled, “I don’t give away primo X to asses I don’t get to fuck. Now pay up or I’ll punch his fucking teeth in.”

Mickey let out a snort. “First, fucker, I don’t pay dealers who give this kid drugs I beat them with pipes. Second if you thought he was going to bend over and take it you’re on the low end of stupid.”

The man went to step towards Mickey when Ian stepped between them and pushed a twenty into the mans hand. “I’m not getting banned from another fucking club for fighting.” Ian turned towards Mickey, “Let’s go.”

Ian brezzed past him heading straight for the exit and Mickey followed. He almost lost him when they came to the sidewalk. Ian was walking like a man who’s just seen a murder. Mickey bit his lip as he trailed after him. He took the time to notice the other man hadn’t bothered with a jacket. “Fucking cold Gallagher?”

“Go fuck yourself Mickey.”

Mickey laughed without humor at that. “Oh you have to be shitting me. You’re mad at me? You straight up disappear but you’re the one that gets to be angry?”

Ian looked over his shoulder with with a stare cold enough to freeze water. “I said go fuck yourself.”

“Oh cut the fucking pity party. You’re better than that.”

Ian whipped around and backed Mickey into the doorway of a closed insurance office. “I just wanted to have fun without you getting on my case. Is that what you want to hear Mick?”

“Oh yeah? Wanna fuck up your meds? Wanna end up in a random house? Wanna end up in stranger’s ass?”

“What? You don’t trust me?” Ian demanded of him.

Mickey jabbed his hand in Ian’s chest, “This isn’t about trusting you. I trust you. I don’t trust your disorder.”

“Same difference.”

Mickey mouth tightened, “Fuck that. When you're like this -”

“Like what? If we’re going to fight about it you might as well say it!”

“Fine. When you're manic and off your meds the disorder makes you behave like a fucking drunk sorority girl. But that’s not you and you fucking know it. You start flirting with guys and drinking until you can’t even walk straight. For fucks sake Ian you were eighteen months clean until tonight. You let some guy give you ecstasy and two weeks ago you were just showing me you chip from NA”

He must have finally gotten through because Ian’s anger dripped away like a melting popsicle in summer. The other man licked his lips while he searched for a response. “I’m tired.”

“Yeah - me too. Been fucking up all day -”

“No,” the redhead said quickly. “I mean I’m tired of being me. I hate it. I just wanted a night - a break from it.”

Mickey cleared his nose. “You can take a break without going AWOL and dumping your pills for eight days.”

Ian smiled despite himself, “You knew?”

“I might not have a diploma but I’m not a fucking idiot.”

“I just thought maybe I’d be okay without them. Maybe this time I could be closer to what I was before.”

Mickey stepped to Ian and used his body so now Ian was the one backed up against the side of the doorway. “Listen to me Gallagher. You are important. You have your family who loves you and needs you. You have me.” Mickey licked his lips, “You have us.” His hand motioned between their chests. “But you don’t get to have the you from before. That you is long gone. And that’s fine. The people around you love you as you are now. We want you here. With us. So be a man and decide whether or not you can move on from trying to find the you from before and continue to be with us.”

Ian beat his fist rhythmically against the wall behind him. “You know you’re an asshole.”

“Does that mean you’re coming home or that we have to scrap in the street?”

“Fuck you man,” Ian laughed.

“Good I didn’t want to have to bloody up your face anyway.” Mickey smiled wide. “Here,” he said offering Ian his outermost coat. “If you fucking freeze to death not a one of your siblings will let me hear the end of it.”

Ian took the jacket and put it on before collapsing against the wall. “How’d you know I went off my meds?”

Mickey scoffed, “I’ve known you a long time and not once have I ever seen you not finish your coffee.”

Ian pulled Mickey in by his belt loops and collapsed his head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

He ran his hand through Ian’s hair and kissed his head, “Ain’t no sorry, Gallagher.”


End file.
